About me
I’ve been working as a therapist then as a psychologist for 27 years in total and for over 20 years have specialised in relationship therapy. I work with couples or people in open relationships. I have considerable experience of working with people who identify as LGBTQ+ but I work with people of all sexualities.
I enjoy working with neurodivergent and mixed neurotype relationships (whether formally diagnosed or not). My work is grounded in double empathy i.e. that all partners can develop greater understanding of different lived experience, ways of making sense of differences and what their needs are within a relationship.
My philosophy is that all relationships are different and neurodiversity brings another facet to this difference. I was diagnosed with dyspraxia as an adult and it was pivotal in helping better understand why so many things had felt hard in life, including how I related to other people. An improved understanding about neurodiversity has helped me in my own relationship and in my clinical practice.
Ways of Working
When clients first make contact, I meet with each person separately as well as meeting you together as an assessment for relationship therapy. I will ask you questions about your relationships and what brings you to seek out help. I encourage you to ask me whatever you need to so that you can feel more at ease both with me and the therapy process. Together we will discuss what is going on in your relationship and what we think would be the focus of our conversations and how sessions are structured.
It is important to me that I am ethical in all my work and part of this is being honest about whether I think my approach could be useful. Sometimes another type of support, or another person may be more appropriate and that is fine, it’s important that you have the right therapist on this journey! If we all think there is a good fit and we think relationship therapy is the right step, then we arrange ongoing sessions.
These can be in person in South Wales or online. I suggest we book 4-6 sessions and then we review if the process is useful to you and agree further sessions. I usually see clients for 3 to 4 months, but this is flexible depending on what is working for you.
Relationship therapy is often described as a chance to reset. We will work together to find shared understandings of problems, how each partner has contributed to some of the patterns / cycles you get into. We will explore what the relationship used to be and what you would like it to be in the future. We will look at where there can be changes and where there will have to be acceptance, after all relationships are made up of individuals with differences, even if we happen to share the same neurotype.
I don’t have magic wands or all the answers, relationship therapy is a collaboration between us all. I commit to bringing my authentic self to our work together including my expertise as a relationship psychologist. But you are the experts on yourselves. The collaboration will work best if you are motivated to understand yourself, your partner and your relationship. If this sounds like you, and you believe that I could be a good fit, please get in touch via my contact form below and I will provide you with any additional information you may require.
The Types of Issues I Support Neurodivergent Clients With
I work with all relationship issues that can arise in mixed neurotype relationships or where each partner has neurodivergence. Here are three examples
- Communication challenges – struggles to express, difficulty being understood, differences in styles, arguments and unresolved recurrent discussions.
- Recognising and responding to each other’s needs (e.g. for affection or support) in order to build greater connection.
- Considering opening up a monogamous relationship or navigating agreements within an open relationship
Some people come to work out if the relationship can be saved, others know they want to stay in their relationship but feel they have lost their way together and others one person is unhappy, but the partner is not clear why they feel this way. Some people have been together for many years and things have gradually become more difficult; others have only been together a short time but want to do some preventative work to stop problems growing. Basically, there are no rights or wrongs in when or why you seek relationship therapy what is more important is that you each have a sense that you want to improve your relationship.
Qualifications
Doctorate in Counselling Psychology
Intermediate Training in Systemic Family Therapy
Post Graduate Certificate in Relationship Therapy
University Advanced Diploma in Couple counselling
Gestalt Couples Counselling Certificate
PhD– Counselling & Organisational Psychology
Online Therapy Certificate
BPS Approved Supervisor Training
Diploma in Supervision
Additional CPD Specific to Neurodiversity
Working With Neurodiverse Couples and Relationships: A Neuro-Affirming Approach – Aspire Autism Consultancy
ADHD in The Therapy Room – Aspire Autism Consultancy
Relationships and Autism and Aspergers – Relate Cymru
Couples and Autism – Relate
Attendance of Aspire Consultancy’s Monthly CPD Group focusing on Neurodiversity.