About me
Relationships can be difficult when two people experience the world in very different ways. You might care deeply about each other but still find yourselves having the same arguments, misunderstanding what the other person meant, or feeling as though your needs just do not make sense to your partner.
This can be particularly difficult when ADHD, Autism or AuDHD is part of the relationship. Sometimes one partner is diagnosed and the other is not. Sometimes both partners are neurodivergent but in very different ways. What helps one person feel calm, connected or secure may be exactly what feels overwhelming, frustrating or confusing to the other.
As a neurodivergent counsellor myself, and someone with a neurodiverse family, I understand that these differences can affect relationships in ways that are not always recognised by more traditional relationship advice.
Over time, couples can get stuck in patterns where both people feel unheard or misunderstood. One person may feel that they are constantly asking for the same thing, while the other feels criticised or as though nothing they do is ever quite right. Small disagreements can become much bigger because they are touching on years of frustration, hurt or feeling unseen.
I offer couples counselling that takes these differences seriously without making either partner the problem.
My role is not to decide who is right or wrong, or to take sides. I want both of you to have the opportunity to explain how the relationship feels from your side, while also beginning to understand more clearly what may be happening for your partner.
Ways of Working
I am an Integrative counsellor and draw on Person-Centred Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy and CBT, adapting the way I work depending on what you need as a couple.
In sessions, we may look at the patterns that keep repeating between you, what tends to trigger conflict or withdrawal, and what is happening underneath those reactions. Sometimes the argument you are having now is not really about the washing up, being late, forgetting something or needing time alone. It can also be about feeling unimportant, rejected, controlled, criticised or not understood.
Where neurodivergence is part of the relationship, it can be helpful to look more closely at the differences between you rather than assuming that one way of communicating or doing things is the correct one.
For example, one partner may need to talk something through immediately while the other needs time to process before they can respond. One person may rely heavily on routine and predictability, while the other struggles with planning or remembering. One may need more physical or emotional closeness when they are upset, while the other needs space before they can reconnect.
Neither response is automatically wrong, but these differences can become painful when neither person understands what is happening.
We can work together to understand those patterns, communicate more clearly and find ways of meeting each other that feel realistic for both of you.
You do not need to have a formal diagnosis to come to counselling. You may already know that ADHD, Autism or AuDHD is part of your relationship; you may be questioning whether neurodivergence is relevant, or you may simply know that the usual relationship advice has never quite fitted.
I offer face-to-face couples counselling at Eastham Hall on the Wirral, in a private and peaceful setting where there is space for both of you to talk openly.
The Types of Issues I Support Neurodivergent Clients With
- Communication difficulties
- Repeated arguments or the same issues coming up again and again
- Feeling misunderstood, unheard or disconnected
- ADHD, Autism and AuDHD within relationships
- Late diagnosis and the impact this can have on a couple
- Different communication and processing styles
- Emotional dysregulation
- Rejection sensitivity
- Differences around routine, organisation and planning
- Executive functioning difficulties
- Unequal mental load
- Sensory differences
- Intimacy and emotional connection
- Parenting and family pressures
- Burnout, stress and overwhelm
- Trust and relationship repair
- Major life changes
- Understanding and communicating individual needs
Qualifications
BSc (Open)
CPCAB Diploma in Therapeutic Counselling
FIL Rainbow Baby Specialist
FIL Infertility Specialist
Additional CPD Specific to Neurodiversity
Working With Neurodivergent Couples and Relationships: A Neuro-Affirming Approach – Aspire Autism Consultancy
A Neuro-Affirming Approach to Working with Autistic Clients – Aspire Autism Consultancy
ADHD in The Therapy Room – Aspire Autism Consultancy
ADHD Coaching: What Is It and Who Is It For? – Aspire Autism Consultancy
Unseen Minds Practitioner – Aphantasia Academy
I continue to undertake professional development around ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, relationships, emotional regulation and neurodivergent wellbeing.